The Friday blog last week was about trusting that you deserve, when you are praised. The blog told about persons showing self confidence in their job and getting a receiving a lot of praise. Unfortunately, there bad self-esteem made it difficult for them to trusting that they were as good as other claimed.
Many people believe that self confidence is the same as self esteem. Alas – this is not the case. A person can have a lot of self confidence – but no self-esteem at all.
How is this possible?
A sparkling woman is giving an enchanting speech. Wow – her audience thinks – she’s really got self-esteem. Well – maybe -yes – but not necessarily. Obviously, she has a lot of self confidence. She is showing her audience that she really trusts what she is doing. But this does not mean that she has a good self esteem. What the audience does not know is that upon her splendid speech,she’ll be walking home alone to sit by herself feeling lonely and worthless -maybe because she has not friends – or maybe because she isn’t able to attract a proper boyfriend – or maybe for a third reason.
And the man, who has had the same job for 20 years. He is very good at his job, and he is really confident that he is performing the job satisfactorily. He has also a lot of self confidence as to his job. But on the inside, he might be sad. He doesn’t feel that he is good at anything else in life. He doesn’t have any self-esteem either.
Being succesful is not necessarily equal to having a good self esteem. A managing director may possess a less self-esteem than a unemployed person. Being self confident in one’s job could lead to to increased self-esteem. But unfortunately, this is not always the case. Being self confident may be a stepstone towards a goodself-esteem – but there are no guarantees. A lot of training and active personal development may be required, until self confidence leads to self-esteem.
However, I venture to assert that if a person possesses a good self-esteem he/she also possesses a good self confidence.
Persons possessing a good self esteem know that they deserve being praised, but if they are not praised, they do not loose their courage. Neither does it matter to them, if they meet a task, which they are unable to perform. They accept themselves in spite of all their “errors/faults”. They know that this is part of being a human being. Even though, you might not be good at skiing, it is ok. You are good at so many other things.
Among other things you are good at being YOU.
Next week I will give you some ideas as to how to increase your self-esteem by increasing your self confidence.
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