Bully – bully – bully part 2 out of 4

When pausing the story about “Gemsehopper” in part one, Gemsehopper had just become a grown-up – and he had married a wonderful woman.

Shortly upon the wedding – on a cold February morning, Gemsehopper’s daughter was born.

Like Gemsehopper, she was loved by her parents – and she went through 10 happy years without worrying about anything. Until the day, when she was to start at a new school and have new classmates. She had just turned 10.

At the exact moment, Gemsehopper’s daughter entered the class room, she felt the gazing eyes of her future classmates. Already in 4th grade,  small cliques had been established. Impenetrable cliques. Gemsehopper’s daughter was sweet and smiling as well as very clever at school, but it was very hard for her to enter the clique. Luckily, there were two other girls in the class, who hadn’t found a space in a clique either, so Gemsehopper’s daughter became good friends with them

Yet some years passed in the life of Gemsehopper’s daughter. It was time to go the upper classes. Gemsehopper’s daughter really  looked forward to this – right until the day, when she found out that she was to be in the same class as the girls from the parallel class. The girls, whom she already knew from the gymnastic classes. The girls, who mocked her, because she ran in a peculiar way and couldn’t catch the ball. The girls, who were always allowed to choose the teams – and never chose her (which was accepted by the teacher).

Gemsehopper’s daughter was thrown to the ground by even stronger and ore impenetrable clique than previously. Gemsehopper’s daughter tried to make herself invisible. She tried to make herself visible. She tried to be funny. She tried to be clever. She tried to misbehave. She tried to answer back.

On one particular day, Gemsehopper’s daughter actually believed that she had won a space in the clique. She was arriving to class much later than her classmates on this day. When entering the class room, she was applauded by the whole class. “Wow – you are such a good writer” “What a story”. The teacher had chosen her absense to read aloud an essay, which she had wrote. Gemsehopper’s daughter became happy and proud. At last!

The next day somebody hung her up on the pegs next to the class room. She had to hang there, until a teacher came by and helped her get down.

Gemsehopper’s daughter was very happy, when she was declared suitable for highschool already after second grade of the upper classes. She was full of light expectations. However, these were ruined very quickly. It was, as if the clique had followed her, even though the contents were different.

”I really don’t like her at all”, Gemsehopper’s daughter overheard the fashionable girls of the class, whispering to each other.

Gemsehopper’s daughter was strange – very strange. She knew this herself, but although she tried not to be strange, it didn’t help. She did have one good friend in the class, and this did help somewhat. But the friend was not strange, so she had access to the clique. The friend was invited to a little more parties than Gemsehopper’s daughter did and she was not chosen as the last person at gymnastics.

Like Gemsehopper –Gemsehopper’s daughter became and adult and was successful. She did well at work, got a husband and two children and she had good friends.

For many years, nobody knew that Gemsehopper’s daughter was strange. Right until one day, when everything changed again.

Read more about Gemsehopper’s daughter in part 3 next week.

Have en fantastic weekend – Life is waiting for you!

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Freeimages Photographer
Flavio Takamoto

Bully- bully – bully – part 1 out of 4

This is the story about the boy, who was called “Gemsehopper” (Danish patronizing word for a jumping chamois). Actually, this is a very sad story – from the start anyway.

This story is really dedicated to all the “Gemsehoppers” of the world – or rather everybody, who have been or still is treated like “Gemsehopper”.

This is also the story about the “Gemsehopper’s” daughter – but she is not joining this story until much later.

On a beautiful August morning in the year of 1936, Gemsehopper was born. He was a handsome little boy, and his mom and da were very happy. Mommy was very loving towards the little Gemsehopper (of course she didn’t name him that), and Gemsehopper really felt loved.

10 happy years went by – or rather – as happy as could be – the condititions being war and shoemaking.

One day, the happiness turned into darkness. Gemsehopper lost his beloved mom, when he was only 10 years old. He was very very sad, but of course he continued doing the usually stuff, so he went bravely to school the day after the death of his mom.

Now it was time for gymnastics. Gemsehopper was waiting for his turn on the floor. He didn’t expect much. Usually, he was not chosen to participate in the gymnastic activities but had to watch everything from the side.

On this particular and very sad day, Gemsehopper was waiting with his mind filled by sad thoughts about his beloved mom, who was now no longer part of his life. Now it was his turn. He started running. “You are running like a “gemsehopper”, the teacher shouted. The whole class started laughing, while they shouted “Gemsehopper, Gemsehopper”.

And this was how Gemsehopper got his name “Gemsehopper”.

Gemsehopper also had a very good dad. His dad became very angry, when he was told, what had happened in the gymnastic class, so he wrote a letter to the teacher. Unfortunately, this didn’t help at all. His teacher and his classmates continued naming him “Gemsehopper”, and he still didn’t get chosen for the gymnastic activities. Even one day, when he accidentally scored goal in soccer. Instead, the other boys were dismayed. Gemsehoper hated sports.

Like this, 6 years passed by. One day – his life was devasted once again. When he was just 16 years old, and very close to graduation, he lost his dad too. There was a lot of tasks to do in connection with the funeral, so he didn’t do his homework. The The teacher, teaching German was tough to him, until a kind classmate told him that he lost his dad. Then the teacher put his hands on Gemsehopper’s shoulders and appologized.Later on, Gemsehopper lost his sister as well, but that is another story.

Luckily, when Gemsehopper was 23 years old, a lot of good stuff had happened to him. He had found a nice woman, whom he had married, and he had got the education of his dreams within the Danish airforce with good teammates.

Gemsehopper had become an adult – and now he was strong. And on one cold February morning, Gemsehopper’s first daughter was born.
Read more next week, if you are curious to know more

Have a fantastic weekend – Life is waiting for you!

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Photo Chamoil – Photographer Alojzm, Free Images

Are you also fond of Displacement Activities?

I wonder, if other people are using displacement activitities in their everyday life too.

I suffer from that phenonomen myself. I use displacement activities almost on a daily basis. To me this is not limited to postponing unpleasant deeds to the future – but also to nice and comfortable deeds.

For instance like writing my Friday Blog. This is an activity, which I find both nice and comfortable – as soon as I have got started.

Every week, when the Friday is approaching, I wonder: “I cannot find anything to write abotu this week. Anyway, not anything worth reading for other people” (the latter might be true, of course).

The thing is that before I even get started – I find a lot of stuff, which I must do before writing my blog: Phoning, emailing – cleaning my apartment, or shopping.

“I do need to this, before I start writing,” “As soon as I have finalized this, I’ll know what to write”.

And this goes on and on – until – at last – I  am sitting on my purple sofa with my laptop ready to execute my orders. Then – and not until then – I suddenly do know what to write about.

Needless to tell that my displacement activities are even more creative and multiple, when I have to deal with less nice and comfortable stuff.

Some times, I discover that my displacement activities have worsened everything. As for instance the visit I had planned to take place on a certain Friday at one of the inhabitants of the nursing home. I wanted to have a lot of time to talk to him, so I believed that I had to do this and that before I had the necessary time to visit him. Because of my displacement activities, I was too late. Well – I did visit him on that particicular Friday – in the church at his funeral.  (Read one of my previous blogs).

On other occasions, the displacement activitities might have improved the end result. I discover an even better way of performing the deeds.

On which areas are you doing displacement activities? Did you ever experience that your displacement activities improved or worsened things?

Should we choose to skip the displacement activities?

PS: Remember – you can help me minimizing my displacement activities by sending me suggestings to new subjects to “Esther’s Friday Blog”

Have a fantastisc weekend – Life is waiting for you!

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People come – People go ……..

Yes – people come – people go. The only thing, of which you can be sure is that you’ll meet each other at the exact right point of time – some times only briefly like a little blow from the wind.

Maybe something is puzzling in your brain. No matter how much you try to rewind your brain, you cannot find a solution to this particular challenge. The same day you meet one of your old friends in the supermarket, whom you have not seen for a long time. A happy re-union. While you are talking about what is going on in your lives, suddenly your friend says something, which sets everything right in your brain.

The challenge has been solved. Hurray. So this was the reason, why you were to meet your old friend. Whether you choose to start seeing each other again after this doesn’t matter. You achieved the help, you needed – right here and now.

Maybe you are attending an evening talk and are really bored. In fact, you have regretted that you went here in the first place. Then something magical happens. The speaker says the exact magic sentence, which changes your whole life, and you appreciate that it was really worth while waiting for that sentence.  Does this sound too unrealistic? Believe me – I have experienced it myself – so this can really happen.

People arrive and disappear in your life with a purpose. Maybe, you do not immediately realize the reason – but then suddenly – one day you’ll find out. Now you know what the teaching was all about.

Maybe, you have to meet the same person in various human disguises, before you have learned your lession. Sometimes these encounters are not so pleasant – maybe they are even awful. Maybe you keep on meeting the exact same type of partner or boss – until you realize what it is all about. Then everything changes.

Did you ever wonder, why you suddenly never meet people, whom you have known before, even though you might live very nearby each other? And others, whom you keep on meeting at very strange places.

And what about the persons disappearing from your life for a time to return again again later on in a much better and more enriching way than prevoiusly.

And finally, all the persons, whom you do not want to let go at all and who luckily feel the exact way about you.

Wauw – who will be the next person to pop up on your way?

Thank you to everybody, I have met on my way through life until now. Each one of you have participated in forming me into being the person I am today …… <3

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The bear is sleeping

January – dark – grey – heavy – and very long! Anyway, it feels like it is long!

The new year has barely begun with happiness, song and “Happy New Year”, before you realize that now January is lying there in front of you – cold and threathening.

  • Sales in the shops which you cannot afford, because you have spent all your money on Christmas
  • A payment statement from the bank, telling you that it is time for big quarterly payments
  • A weather, which cannot decide, whether it is really to be frosty or have spring feelings
  • The car telling you that January does in fact mean frost, when you start de-icing the windows too late before going to work
  • The extra pounds you have gained after the Christmas food
  • The bed, which feels even more alluring in the mornings after the alarm has called on you for action
  • Maybe you feel lazy, lethargic, and sad
  • The darkness waiting for you in the mornings on the way to work and at night when returning home

Do not despair my dear friend. The days are getting longer – and the light is winning. Today on 12 January the day has been extended by 30 minutes since Winter Solstice. This is a good sign. And just the other day, I noticed that a person on Facebook had posted some small flowers growing up from the ground searching for the light.

Instead of dispairing, think of the bear, who goes hiping, until it is time to go hunting again. Allow yourself to rest and recharge according to your need and opportunity. Darkness invites you to rest – not activity.

Although, you might have to go to work, you can choose to see this drowsy time as a period, in which you are restituting yourself and preparing yourself for the spring and the rest of the year. A period, which you use as self-nourisment. I could make a long “how-to-do-it-list” with ideas for self-nourisment. But self-nourisment is different from person to person. To some people it means meditation and yoga – for others it means a glass of red wine.

The most important is that you allow yourself to do exactly, what gives you self-nourishment and helps you though the winter, so that you reach Spring filled with energy and optimism.

Remember  – It will get better and better day by day. The light WILL come!

Thank you to Irene for inspiring me to the “Esther’s Friday Blog” this week.

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Photo: Freeimages – Iwan Beijes

Life is waiting for you!

It happened. It’s 2018.

As usual,  the year was in a hurry to end. January 2017 seems to be just a few months ago.

Did we accomplish everything, we planned for/wished for? Or do we still have unreleased/unsolved challenges, tasks, and wishes waiting for us? Waiting for us because we couldn’t pull ourselves together – because we didn’t know, if we could cope – because it was too complex – or because we didn’t feel that we deserved it – or that we were good enough – or…… –

I wrote about this in my New Year Rocket blog last week. Now the New Year Rocket has landed (hopefully safely) on the other side of 2017. You are probably aware of, what you have chosen to bring along into 2018.

Well – NOW – it is time!

But take it easy – no stress – you will get there. Now, it is time to choose to do everything calmly – and yet still accomplish what you wished for.

You can chooose to start your day by consciously deciding how you would like your day to be today. You do this exercise, as soon has you are awake. Maybe you already know how to meditate, so you choose to sit up during the performance, but this exercise works just as fine, when you are lying down. The only thing, which is important, is that you do it in the exact same moment, you are awake. This is when your subconsciousness is most eager “to play along”.

Now you visualize, how you would like your day to be. Maybe you visualize that you reach the metro without having to run for it. You visualize that there is a nice vacant window seat, on which you sit down. Upon your arrival at your job, your boss greets you smilingly (normally he is a little grumpy in the mornings). This way, you go through as much of your day, as you wish to make an imprint on. You also visualize that if you meet any unforseen challenges, you manage these calmly, grounded, and with clarity.
During the visualization, you are observant of your breath.

The entire visualization doesn’t need to take more than 5-7 minutes – but if you feel like doing it for a longer time, please feel free to so.

Now, you are ready to seize the day with a presence and readyness to meet whatever is coming.

Before you go to sleep at night, you choose at least three things from your day, which you are grateful for. This way, your day will end in the same calm and positive way, which it was started.

If you practise these two easy exercises every day, you may find that you are gaining more positivity, peace, and presence in your everyday life. And – when you reach 2019 – you might discover that you have released/solved a little more than you “normally” do in a year.

Remember to be present in the moment. And remember – life is waiting for you!

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Photo – Freeimages – Maria Kallas

Sweet Christmas – part 3

Now – we are almost there – Christmas is near.

You are probably still doing all your Christmas preparations. Maybe there is still a little stress. Or maybe even more stress now, when Christmas is so nearby.

Do not dispair my dear friend.
if the gift you are looking for has been sold out – it will be back in the shops after Christmas.
If the Christmas duck (or turkey) isn’t as big, as normally – you can eat more of the other stuff (in Denmark pork roach)
If you didn’t catch all the dust under the sofa – the whole floor will be full of used Christmas wrapping paper very soon.
If the children “accidentally” ate all the Christmas cookies before Christmas – (because you didn’t hide them well enough on the shelf) – well then there are plenty of other kinds of sweet stuff; and you must admit that it is a little nice to know that your children love your cookies so much that they couldn’t wait 🙂

Once in a while – stop and take deep breaths!

Christmas will come – even though you don’t stress!

Let the Christmas peace fill you and your home! Be good to yourself and others – those nearby as well as far away!

Merry Christmas to all my readers!


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Sweet Christmas – Part 2

Esther’s Friday Blog

yes – in this sweet Christmas time, we hurry around in order to make it in time before Christmas. How many of us do really have the time to enjoy the Christmas month?

I have very mixed feelings in regards of Christmas:

If you visits my home right now, nothing will remind you of Christmas. Well – except for that Christmas card on the table – and maybe the smell of newly baked Christmas cookies. That being said -I have no angels, or Santas, or Christmas candles. And the misteltoe hanging at my entrance has been hanging there since last Christmas – to be renewed once a year.

Why is it that I haven’t decorated for Christmas? Hmmm – I seem to remember that I was rather fond of decorating for Christmas, when I was young. This was one of these things, which was “normal”, when you were newly wed (21 years old) and had to make sure that all traditions are taken care of (I also had a big garden of vegetables and berries, and I always had freshly baked bread in the freezer). Later on, the children arrived, and then you have to have angels, santas, and elves everywhere.

In the exact moment, the dear children had moved out, everything changed. Suddenly, I lived alone and could “decide everything for myself”. This included decorating less for Christmas.

In Denmark, we have a saying – that Christmas is the “festival of the hearts”

The problem is that many of these hearts are beating a little to fast during the Christmas month. They are stressed out by everything they have to do before Christmas: decorating, Christmas presents, Christmas food etc. etc. In between all these cosy tasks, they also have to go to work, clean their homes, do their laundry, and cook for the family. And when – at last -they get to Christmas eve – the time of celebrating the effect of all this Christmas stress – they are completely exhausted. On the other hand, they can be proud that once again, they made it in time, before the candles on the Christmas tree are lit.

Yeah – yeah – I know. Maybe I sound more negative than intended. All things being equal, I am participating myself in the Christmas race – buying presents and planning the Christmas dinner. I just imagine that it would be fantastic, if Christmas didn’t have to be such a performance race.

By the way – I am going to decorate for Christmas before the 23rd of December, when my grandson is visitting from Spain. And I am looking so much forward to this.

Take care of yourself this last week before the “festival of the hearts”.

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Photo: Freeimages- Rositsa Jeliazkova

Sweet Christmas

Oh no – I did it again!

Esther’s Friday Blog

Thank you Birgitte for the idea of the subject of this week.

“No no no – I did it again. Damn, I am so tired of myself” The blender part fell into the smoothie, when I was almost finished making the smoothie. Delicious smoothie on the table instead of in the glass.

Well – of course this is irritating – but the world didn’t go under – did it? Will the smoothie become better, if you knock yourself on your head?

Our inner judge is always ready to strike, when he/she discovers a chance to judge either him/herself or others.

“Oh no, do I really have to sit next to that guy all the way. He is probably smelly and he looks stupid”, you are thinking, while you are squeezing down beside an overweight man. The judge is here again – this time on the airplane travelling abroad. A moment after these judgmental thoughts, you discover that he is kind and nice, when you need to go to the toilet, and he has to rise from his center seat and wait for you in the aisle, until you are back. – And – hey – he is not stupid either. He is reading business papers containing graphs and tables.

As soon as we see a person, who is somehow outside the “normal area”, we are very fast to judge this person.

Immediately, after realizing that you were wrong about this man, you get embarrassed and start knocking yourself on your head again – blaming yourself for being judgmental towards other human beings.

Often this takes place automatically – almost like an autopilot – and we do this a lot of times every day.

If we want to get rid of our inner judge, we can start observing every time it happens. Not analyzing – but just observing everything from the above. – Yes, the blender part fell into the smoothie – and so what? I pick it up again -and luckily there is still some smoothie left.

9 out of 10 times, when we judge others either consciously or subconsciously, we end up finding out that there was no reason to be judgmental after all.

Practice in observing every time the judge appears – whether you judge yourself or others. If you are judging another human being without knowing the story of this person – stop and consider, whether there might be some hidden reasons for this person to act in a certain way (which you might find irritating).

Some years ago, when I gave classes in communications, I used a film featuring John Cleese as a part of the education.

Especially, I remember a scene, in which a man gets very irritated at a colleague, who is speaking aggressively. The man is just about to answer aggressively back to the colleague, but John Cleese whispers in his ear that he should imagine that the wife of the colleague has just been run over by a car. This makes our man speak very nicely and kindly to his colleague, who immediately becomes more calm and says: “Thank you for understanding me. My wife has just been run over by a car.”

Nobody is perfect – neither your or me. Pull that index finger back now. There are so much other healthier things to spend your time on.

Have a fantastic weekend – Life is waiting for you!

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Photo: Freeimages – Greschoj